my childhood nightmares are coming back again!
i used to call it the dream monster...
yea yea, go on and laugh.
i dreamt that my parents divorce or died suddenly
i dreamt that i have to retake my piano exam over and over again. (i cried)
i dreamt of my grandparents coming to take me with them. (way creepy!)
i dreamt i loss someone really special to me in an accident. (will not tell the name)
i dreamt i killed my father. (OMG!)
i dreamt that i was abused, physically.
hmmmm, i think i think too much.
Sunday, 16 November 2008
Thursday, 13 November 2008
i never thought of this until today.
don't ask me why i thought of it.
i just did.
is anyone afraid of death?
afraid of walking the green mile?
i know i am.
i hate pain, hate parting with my loved ones.
but what if one day you found out:
you are dying...
at this very moment, every second is passing so quickly,
what would you do?
how would you live the remaining of your life then?
optimistically or pessimistically?
would you cry your heart out, and drown into self-pity, thinking that you are the unlucky one?
or laugh at others who are worst off then you?
what did jesus did when he knew his time on Earth was coming to an end?
he prayed...... for us.
such selfless love...
don't ask me why i thought of it.
i just did.
is anyone afraid of death?
afraid of walking the green mile?
i know i am.
i hate pain, hate parting with my loved ones.
but what if one day you found out:
you are dying...
at this very moment, every second is passing so quickly,
what would you do?
how would you live the remaining of your life then?
optimistically or pessimistically?
would you cry your heart out, and drown into self-pity, thinking that you are the unlucky one?
or laugh at others who are worst off then you?
what did jesus did when he knew his time on Earth was coming to an end?
he prayed...... for us.
such selfless love...
Monday, 10 November 2008
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to meeeee...
Happy Birthday to me!
finally, i am legal to say im really 14 not just going 14...
i have grown a year older.
learn alot a things through pain and happiness , even though i know i still got more to learn.
a friend once told me happiness shared is doubled while sorrow shared is halved.
i really happy to know i could shared both my happiness and sorrow with my friends and loved ones.
i always thought, if i could rewind time. i could make amendments to those mistakes.
but i worry, if i take away those pain, would i lost those life lessons and happiness too?
i wouldn't be who i am today...
so i appreciate every one of the pain as well as happiness.
anyway, i thank those who wish me happy birthday be it through sms, personally, facebook.... anything, thanks for remembering...
thank you Lord, for showing me that i still have feelings for my brother. i still love him as my brother of course. i should have forgiven him a long time ago. but i held grudged which sour our relationship. Lord if this grudge is not from you, please take it away...
see what i got for my b'day:
from my kor, didn't expect him to give me anything. somemore is using his own money, so sweet of him.
from my mother, a hoodie
phone keychain from keith.:)
watch from limxi, ivy, grace.
a cross necklace from mum.
from ivy, limxi, grace. thankies...
new sport shoe from my dear mum...
New school shoe because of sec2 camp, repainting my room, new skinny jeans, a shoe my sis painted for me... (lazy to upload the pics)
Saturday, 8 November 2008
i had fun yesterday. i honestly did. eating pancake of course. though my b'day treat maybe small, but its the thought that counts right.:] Thanks guys!!!
i told myself to forget you. but i'm still giving you 2 more days. i promise my mum and dad i would forget about you, but it is just too hard. in the dark, i still continued to talk to you. but no more, i know i have to let go. what this friend of mine said is right, if i think you are already good enough but God doesn't think you are the best choice, that means there is someone else better for me. and why do i continue to forgive you and say you will change when 23hours and day you are hurting me?
i told myself to forget you. but i'm still giving you 2 more days. i promise my mum and dad i would forget about you, but it is just too hard. in the dark, i still continued to talk to you. but no more, i know i have to let go. what this friend of mine said is right, if i think you are already good enough but God doesn't think you are the best choice, that means there is someone else better for me. and why do i continue to forgive you and say you will change when 23hours and day you are hurting me?
Friday, 7 November 2008
I decided to not upload the photos on 2e1 chalet cos most of them are already loaded in facebook.
on thursday, went to taka with minmin and ASM jiejie. walk walk walk and talk talk talk. oh i almost forgot, eat eat eat. nothing much cos everything was super ultra expensive except for books. but they are considered expensive. anyway, i bought a book:A walk to remember. its really a nice story BUT... i broke after i bought that book. sad:( then we 'camp' in james house. watch tv and more tv. honestly, i dont their parents actually like us(their mum to be exact) but anyway, i dont really care...
today went to school to look for Mrs VJ but she was in a meeting so wait and wait and wait. grace said i got into a smarty pants class.3E3 which i dont think it is a good thing. i have my reasons for saying so... i'm so gonna miss 2e1 alot. every single one of them. why cant we stay in the same class but have different subject since it is homeroom system anyway? GRACE and JOANNA! why your not in 3e3!!! im so gonna miss your the most!!!
perhaps, it is the Lord's plan. his will is different from what i wanted, but i know god does such things so that it will benefit all of us. I trust in you Lord.
God, help grace understand why you gave her biology, help her overcome her fear. for only you know what is best for her.
God, also help ivy. her close friends are all in 3e1, but i know that you made this arrangement so it will benefit her close friends and herself. even though she may not believe and trust your ways, please guide her.
on thursday, went to taka with minmin and ASM jiejie. walk walk walk and talk talk talk. oh i almost forgot, eat eat eat. nothing much cos everything was super ultra expensive except for books. but they are considered expensive. anyway, i bought a book:A walk to remember. its really a nice story BUT... i broke after i bought that book. sad:( then we 'camp' in james house. watch tv and more tv. honestly, i dont their parents actually like us(their mum to be exact) but anyway, i dont really care...
today went to school to look for Mrs VJ but she was in a meeting so wait and wait and wait. grace said i got into a smarty pants class.3E3 which i dont think it is a good thing. i have my reasons for saying so... i'm so gonna miss 2e1 alot. every single one of them. why cant we stay in the same class but have different subject since it is homeroom system anyway? GRACE and JOANNA! why your not in 3e3!!! im so gonna miss your the most!!!
perhaps, it is the Lord's plan. his will is different from what i wanted, but i know god does such things so that it will benefit all of us. I trust in you Lord.
God, help grace understand why you gave her biology, help her overcome her fear. for only you know what is best for her.
God, also help ivy. her close friends are all in 3e1, but i know that you made this arrangement so it will benefit her close friends and herself. even though she may not believe and trust your ways, please guide her.
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
very very tired right now but i really enjoyed myself ;D
if you ask why am i so tired, maybe it is because i went for 2 chalets on the same day.
1 for OCC b'day and the other was for me, lol, just kidding, it was 2e1 chalet.
but 2e1 was very sweet, celebrated fengling and my b'day+LimXi(if only if you didn't leave so early)
fengling, please thank your mum for me for the wonderful cake even though most were thrown at each other. hehe.
i think i got smashed on the face with the cake like 5 TIMES!
BBQ was really not bad, i did not have to lift a finger because the guys helped with the BBQing.
now who said guys can't cook, or at least BBQ? NOT ME...
i didn't know guys could be so Friendly, they wished us b'day girls happy birthday and shook our hands. i mean, i really, honestly, didn't expect that from them. so ya, thanks guys. you're sweet!
i went to the beach with Adelle and Jinyee because i didn't feel like cycling.
camwhoring is FUN! p.s. we are not the excessive type...
the Sun was..... how to put it..... disappearing?
it drizzled so we had to find shelter. and we saw i couple kissing. awww, so sweet. hahas, i know, i'm a busybody.
photos will be uploaded soon, i think...
btw, if anyone wanna buy log cake, pls tell me because my cousin is selling them.
if you ask why am i so tired, maybe it is because i went for 2 chalets on the same day.
1 for OCC b'day and the other was for me, lol, just kidding, it was 2e1 chalet.
but 2e1 was very sweet, celebrated fengling and my b'day+LimXi(if only if you didn't leave so early)
fengling, please thank your mum for me for the wonderful cake even though most were thrown at each other. hehe.
i think i got smashed on the face with the cake like 5 TIMES!
BBQ was really not bad, i did not have to lift a finger because the guys helped with the BBQing.
now who said guys can't cook, or at least BBQ? NOT ME...
i didn't know guys could be so Friendly, they wished us b'day girls happy birthday and shook our hands. i mean, i really, honestly, didn't expect that from them. so ya, thanks guys. you're sweet!
i went to the beach with Adelle and Jinyee because i didn't feel like cycling.
camwhoring is FUN! p.s. we are not the excessive type...
the Sun was..... how to put it..... disappearing?
it drizzled so we had to find shelter. and we saw i couple kissing. awww, so sweet. hahas, i know, i'm a busybody.
photos will be uploaded soon, i think...
btw, if anyone wanna buy log cake, pls tell me because my cousin is selling them.
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