I HAVE DECIDED.
I WILL MOVE ONE.
I SHOULD JUST LET GO.
GO ON BEL, JUS MOVE!

i woke up at 11 today:)
cos i was praying and crying until like 1am...
wow, i felt SOOO MUCH BETTER after singing and crying and jus telling my dearest lover(God) how i truly felt and just screaming out all those fear that is calling out my name.
my lover also help me overcome my tempt. wooohooo!
praise be to the lord!
i will overcome it with God's help no matter how long or hard it takes...
fill me with the spirit again.
he who is in me is far stronger than he who is against me, therefore whom shall i fear?
Amen!

oh thanks MISS S for the wonderful pencil case and Cross... I LOVE IT!
MISS F thanks for the post yea!
in all thanks babes...
and u ivy TAN, u r a babe too! ahha:)

when i think of OBS, i think of u.
the time we practice belaying, u were my belayer.
when i couldnt climb the rock wall, u said nvm its ok.
when we did kayaking, u made all of us laugh cos of ur friend John.LOL
during land expedition, u were the one leading songs to encouraging us.
u also kept talking about ur ex during camp and all of us felt so weird. haha
finding tent pegs together with syahirah and kian hong was all so funny becos kian hong couldnt find a single one!
when you did trust fall, ALL of us thought we were going to die! LOL cos u know ur size is so BIG! Strongman! said by waimin...:)
when it was the last day, you went into emo state. no one knew why... i knew why.
this are just some parts of my memories which i can really really well.

too many memories of u...
msgs,photos,number,msn and pastconversation on msn,blog,fb,OBS,going out tog
so hard to let go.
i feel like an evil person now.
but my friends say what i am feeling and what i did is normal.
is it?
really?
im confused...
and how come this one hurts so much more than the other?
move on bel,move on...

oh i cant log into facebook.sian lar!!!
things to be done:
1)finish hw
2)start revising for exam
3)plan my timetable and targetsetting(which i dont realy follow) hahha
4)the old has gone the new has come.(try to guess wat i mean)
5)catch up with my friends as much as i can:)
6)forget YOU, lets be friends!=D
7)pack my room AGAIN~!~!
8)and last be not least,God.

im gonna sing sing sing im gonna shout shout shout im gonna sing im gonna shout praise the lord!!! when the gates are open wide im gonna side at jesus side im gonna sing im gonna shout praise the lord!!!
i should change sing to sing and play
and
shout to dance to you
hahha cool!!!:)ok random....
ohhh i love this sunday school song so many fond memories....
AHHH i miss children sunday school ALOT!!!

i dont keep things to myself becos i dont trust a person.
its becos i find my self a bother...
i mean who would not get sick of listening to me.
i would get sick of talking about it too.
anyway i feel so small as compared to charmaine
just 4 and she has cancer!
but she is a strong girl.
she fighting the 'monster'
even hair dropping doesnt matter to her now.
she just want her life back
perhaps she should be my inspiration and determination
when i feel sad cos of my hair, i should see life the way she sees it!
so if u see that im upset and i dont want to say why.
this is the reason becos of stupid hair!LOL

i hate myself at times.
i dont want to be over sensitive and emotional
yet i became too open to some ppl.
i cant do anything to please EVERYONE right...
do i have self respect for myself???
i dont know.
what u said made my heart hurt deeply.
i feel like a cheap person right now.
perhaps that is ur impression of me now uh?
i told u my secrets becos u wanted me to say.
yet u r using them against me now.
u wanted me to be open and no secrets at all,
yet u say im too open now.
SO DO I HAVE SELF RESPECT?
i dont even know...

i cried 6times today.
thankfully i have ivy,cheryl,edith,james,peter,francine and shuying for help.
u guys really supported me.
thank you for cheering me up ok.
i love you all.:)
i especially love u franny and shu...
our sang love song to me!
hahah
so sweet man...
and u peter!
yes u!
haha singing christian songs helps!

im not gonna hide that i am really sad and hurt and regretful over this.
but i think this is wat god wants
and wat i want
i love you too much to make u stay, baby fly away...
time will heal i guess
jus hope we will be friends again
and dont blame urself

in the mean while,
i need therapy!
there is a trend that is happening again...
i gotta ask god for help on this one.
perhaps im sending the wrong signal.
or perhaps it is becos i lost my morals
or maybe i didnt follow god's leading
or really jus maybe i didnt respect myself well enough...
haix
i shall ask god for help to overcome my deepest darkest secrets...
i think i will start fasting and praying now.


wat can i ever do with ppl like u!

dear lord, i dont know what to say...
im confused yet at peace right now
i know deep in my heart
that this is wat u want me to do
cos u knew this would happen

i was flying now i am falling...
did u really care? about US?
perhaps it was just a illusion on my part...

it feels like death to me.
somehow death seems like a very tempting offer right now.
i know very well the pain many patients go through.
the pain is all too familar to me...
dont ask me what it is.
i feel so scared.
i feel abandoned!
ABBA Father, dont leave me please!
take it away...
its too much of a struggle.
RESCUE ME! MY KNIGHT AND SHINING ARMOR!
DIE SATAN DIE!!! IM NOT GONNA GIVE UP THE BATTLE, IM GONNA WIN THIS WAR!!!

THIS CLASS WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED BY ALL OF US!
6i ROCKS TO THE CORE!!!
even though we dont meet alot... i feel the class bond is so strong, its so hard to tear apart.

comparing 6I and 2E1. i dont know. both are good in their own ways:)
but i think i dislike about 2E1 is that there are many cliques.
in 6i i can practically talk to EVERYONE. even the guys.
and my GREAT DARLINGS in 2E1 are not exactly around during recess. u know why...
so i feel kidda lonely during recess
some of them will sit with their other friends and some are prefect or in special treatment club(STC).... so im left alone:(
guys quickly get out of STC!

teachers day performance was not so bad after all.
im talking about the modern dance...
i saw our video of us performing, it was actually watchable!:)
GOOD JOB GUYS:)
especially good job to sec1 and sec2
cos i have to admit the dance chreography was BAD!
but u didnt grumble much, and i could see ur at least putting in effort to dance so
a big THANK YOU!
anyway, im kidda sad that this will be my last teacherday performance.
cos of MR B, he doesnt allow sec4 to perform.
heck!

speaking of MR B,
i really hate him nowadays
i mean why does he has to be so BUDGET!
other govt-adied sch get to travel more than us.
this is so unfair!
furthermore, we are sec3 this year.
it is our VERY LAST YEAR to travel oversea:(
i was really hoping to go RUSSIA/QUEENSLAND and BALI at the end of this year.
thats all i ask let me travel to this courty with the school and im satisfied.
please lord, answer this prayer?

and last but not least,
things arent getting better YET.
kind of scares me but all i have left is FAITH:)