So, its been a long while since I posted. Anyways, I decided to share a testimony of my life( for the fun of it) Growing up in a christian family, I attended Sunday school all my life, taught to pray before meals, love and forgive... You know, just be like a good role model so that people will see Christ in us. I never really fully understood the meaning of being a christian, more specifically being God's child. Fast forward, when i was secondary 1, almost every teenager at that age goes through identity crisis. Like who am i, why do i look like that, what is the purpose of my life, what am i living for? What made it worse was that i did not do really well for my PSLE. I transferred to Peirce from Hougang in hope for a "better place". However, i had lots of difficulties making friends partly because i refuse to move on from primary school. I hated new surrroundings, new people... The insecurity that i felt, i thought no one could understand how i felt. I masked my unhappiness with good grades so that no one could see how lonely i felt. One day, during my church camp sermon, God spoke to me in ways unimaginable. Im more comfortable with English and struggled to understand Chinese. But Our God is a God of all tongues, all language. Somehow, the language barrier was lifted. I was throughly touched by the sermon and the testimony shared during the camp. I remember that on the first day i was laughing at the back of the church and talking to my friends not listening. But by the last day of the camp, God touched me and my heart opened up to listen attentively to God's words. He showed my that he cares for me no matter how much i turn away from him, he still loves me. He knows my struggles and my hurt, he was willing to help me carry it. I just started crying, tears of joys just kept flowing. I kept praying: Oh Lord, set my heart on fire! It was just an amazing feeling! First time in my life, I knew God exist. I felt God's presence. He is real and not just some Bible story. He told me who am I, I am God's child. Sec 2, I made new friends and wasnt the loner in class anymore. But as we walk closer and closer to God, satan would always be there to tempt you to backslide. That was the case for me. 2 things happen when i was 14: I tore my knee ligament and i "boy" trouble. Tearing of my ligament was the worse feeling ever. As a dancer, i felt as if God was taking away the one thing that i was good at. I cried to the Lord, God if you really want the best for me, why did you take away something so precious to me. If you are the God that all good and gracious, why did you hurt me? Why cant you heal me? I was really bitter at God. I started walking away from God. I attended this children conference, and they had altar call. Honestly, I knew God exist, but i didnt really go forward during the altar call because i wanted to give my life to Christ. Rather, i wanted to observe what was going on down there. So my churchmate and I went down, there i met H(not his actual name) H and I when out a couple of times. Things started to get cloudy between us. We started talking about ...stuff. One fine day, he asked me whether we wanted to do it. I have no idea what came to me, but im sure God was there to stop me. I said No. Thank God. I was barely 13 then. God's hands protected me from harm. Even though God was there, i didnt apporach him. It wasnt enough for me to go back to God. My parents were going through a rough time, they didnt notice me and focus their attention on my siblings, the guy kept perstering me, I had no idea who i was... I just wanted to be a bad kid to get the attention of people around me. I started self cutting, smoking and all those crap... I was filled with bitterness. I hated myself. I hated everyone. Eventually my church mates noticed, they started sending me encouraging text messages and filled me with God's word. I still remember my church mate text me this: "Good morning sunshine!:)" The feeling of being loved again made me happy. Slowly but surely, the joy of the Lord filled my heart. God heard my cries and used the people around me to show me his love.

its been long since i wrote a post here.
every time i read something in this blog of mine, its most probably because i feel confuse.


Jealously.Wrath.Lust.Envy.
why are we always chasing the tangible and materialistic side of life when in the end, it comes to lose its value.
why do we let our holy covenant become just like any other object? sex object, that has often been misuse for temporary pleasure. what becomes of the true meaning of love then?
how can something wrong seem so right at the same time?
where have our innocence and pure mind gone to?
when has admitting defeat or congratulating our opponent been so hard to do?
when we do have something, we take it for granted as if we deserved it.

are humans really that hard to satisfy???
Shine your light on this world, shine your light on me...

http://youtu.be/OlRulUDxbWU

same song, different interpretation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToDZ9Q2hIBk

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

to those who have been brought down by others,
stand up for yourself.
u will be amazed at how many people are out there to support you.
BULLYING is HURTFUL!

when i was sec 2, i was stupid and naive to believe your words and let u take advantage of me. but now, i grown a little more to see who truly cares. im not gonna let you crawl back into my heart and tear it apart. im saving it for him.:)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnguqsMQmg4

I tried to fix the friendship, tried to bring your together, tried anything and everything. but i realised each time i tried fixing you, i got hurt. becaused i liked you. maybe, just maybe the best thing is to let it as it is.

to my babe Astor and dude, somehow this song reminds me of wat ur guys are going through. u guys are the best ppl i met in NY, my best buddies, girlfriend, a more than friends ha! stay strong cause i'll be there:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZQ42YbR8oc

and dude, this is how i feel bout u...:)

Dont bring me down with your words even though you think its a joke.
who cares if im sensitive or not.
its not cool to say such a thing to a girl.
peace out.

Lady Gaga taught me its ok to be different

Kesha taught me to live life to the fullest while I have the time

Pink taught me to be myself and not care what other people think

Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right

Emimem taught me that life is hard, but you make it through

Bruno Mars taught me to do everything for that one person I love

Michael Jackson taught me to love the people around me

Music taught me how to live <3

meet my cutizz cousin!

i have finally found you.
please stay for a while.
please...

I shouldn't have said it.
Because of my stupidity,
the friendship i cared so much about is gone.
why did this friendship waiver and fall after a storm?
was it because our friendship only continued because it was depended on talking about one person?
if that was really the case,
then its good and bad this friendship ended.
its good because i wont end up being the only one giving and not receiving.
its bad because i don't really care that i get anything back. i just want to know how are you coping with everything, thats all.
its either im a good intention termite or a Barnabas.

Oh God, if its your will, may you bless me with another Brother-in-christ that we both can look out for each other. Amen.

okay so yesterday was a bad day.
i let my mood be affect by a dream.
ha actually does sound funny now.
but still, it was a bad dream.


Romans 6:15-17

Slaves to Righteousness
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.

i am so sick now....:(

i feel horrible,
and no i'm not sick or anything.
i just feel like i did something wrong.
and the worst thing is that i can't tell anyone how i feel...
because if i say,
you would go W.T.F mirabel you did that???
or you would go around judging me or something.
i wanna cry/scream/shout it out but i CAN'T!
bloody hell...

PURE MIND IN AN R-RATED WORLD???

i dont wannna fall back to who i was in the past,
but i cant seem to stop myself.
why??

i like to show my emotions upfront, it doesnt give you the right to make use of it or does it mean im vulnerable.

It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
Wrapped my soul in chains

Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away

Set me free of the chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free

this is my most slack week of my life. while everyone is going for open house and doing their JAE, i on the other hand have nothing to do.
just slacking,sleeping in, going beach, play pool.

sometimes i think im toop laidback for a competitive driven society much less JC...
i really need to stop being a sloth!!!

Jealously rips the joy out of everything.

You dont have to be perfect or the best to be a leader.
You just have to bring out the best in people,
and that makes you a great leader...

2 years i will wait...

“Please, Aslan,” said Lucy. “Before we go, will you tell us when we can come back to Narnia again? Please. And oh, do, do, do make it soon.”
“Dearest,” said Aslan very gently, “you and your brother will never come back to Narnia.”
“Oh, Aslan!!” said Edmund and Lucy both together in despairing voices.
“You are too old, children,” said Aslan, “and you must begin to come close to your own world now.”
“It isn't Narnia, you know,” sobbed Lucy. “It's you. We shan't meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?”
“But you shall meet me, dear one,” said Aslan.
“Are are you there too, Sir?” said Edmund.
“I am,” said Aslan. “But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

“Please, Aslan,” said Lucy. “Before we go, will you tell us when we can come back to Narnia again? Please. And oh, do, do, do make it soon.”
“Dearest,” said Aslan very gently, “you and your brother will never come back to Narnia.”
“Oh, Aslan!!” said Edmund and Lucy both together in despairing voices.
“You are too old, children,” said Aslan, “and you must begin to come close to your own world now.”
“It isn't Narnia, you know,” sobbed Lucy. “It's you. We shan't meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?”
“But you shall meet me, dear one,” said Aslan.
“Are are you there too, Sir?” said Edmund.
“I am,” said Aslan. “But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

God, i believe i am ready.
no more distraction and wandering off tracks
cos its you who i am searching for.
and now that i have found you,
im never letting go.

use me in whatever way you like
even though it may hurt sometimes,
but i will always remind myself,
"endure hardship with us like a good soldier of christ jesus"
for i am yours to mold,
mold into your masterpiece.

when love comes around, and it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down

so, i guess i still thinking of you.
but hey, no worries, i will get over you soon enough:)
not that i have a choice or anything.
gah rejections happens everyday
from those people giving out flyers at mrt stations,
to rejection from a school or job interview
and to rejection from your loved ones and friends whom you needed most whenever you are upset, but they were not around.
we all played every one of those characters before.
yet, at times it still pains us whenever we are being rejected.
funny isn't?
hope you are having lots of fun with your new found love:)
a little advice, keep it real, keep it true, keep it simple...
perhaps maybe it will work out this time!