lost in the world full of lies, deception and betrayer.........
don't make promises you can't fulfill.
cos you end up hurting somebody.
why is it so hard to think for others rather than yourself?
humans are just so self-centred...
why is it so hard to give than to receive?
humans are just so self-centred...
why is it that we put so much faith in others even though you know they will fail you?
that's just plain stupidity...
Monday 30 June 2008
Sunday 29 June 2008
today was youth service and it was awesome!
it may not be the best worship in the whole world but what matters most is that our heavenly father appreciates that we used the talents he gave us to minister to others as well as bless others. it was extremely fun to say the least.
i nearly cried when the blind pastor was singing "A New You" well actually i did cry(one two drops). the song very like ministering to me. so true... God's love is everlasting...
anyways, thanks ivy, grace and limxi(glimb family) for being with me in times of need. giving me encouragement cards and all... church mates too!
it may not be the best worship in the whole world but what matters most is that our heavenly father appreciates that we used the talents he gave us to minister to others as well as bless others. it was extremely fun to say the least.
i nearly cried when the blind pastor was singing "A New You" well actually i did cry(one two drops). the song very like ministering to me. so true... God's love is everlasting...
anyways, thanks ivy, grace and limxi(glimb family) for being with me in times of need. giving me encouragement cards and all... church mates too!
Saturday 28 June 2008
Monday 23 June 2008
Sunday 22 June 2008
i miss the mini church camp alot! school starting tomorrow and i am not even excited. whats worse? i can't lock into MSN. arghhhh!
i learnt something that i won't learn else where.
i'm such a coward.
always trying to run away from my problems
i'm scared to face it.
i feel i'm becoming more and more depressed.
so easily affected by stuff around me
and i feel im such a trouble to others.
in this world i'm in,
i feel so scared and lost.
not sure which direction and who to turn to
i depend too much on others.
i ask alot from them
always wanting them to be there for me
but they are only human
and they can never always be there for me.
so i decided not to tell them my problems.
scared that they find me a nuisance
and that they might despise me for it
God feels very far right now
it feels like his is 1 minute here and another minute gone
i craving for love that God can give me
but i dont feel it anymore.
my parents don't even feel anything wrong with me
and so do my friend
they can never give me the love i want
mum and dad fight alot nowadays
and i'm scared.
scared that i would lose 1 of them
i'm scared that if i tell them my problems,
it would cause them to fight more.
i feel like im losing my bestie
we seem that we are going separate ways
and i don't blame her
she might hate me because i was not talking to her clique
i guess its time to let go
i know that my church mates care
i can tell they want to know whats wrong
but i don't know how to explain this feeling
this feeling is indescribable
i cry alot nowadays
actually almost everyday
i can't smile anymore
i trying to bottle all of my fears and hurts up
but soon i'm going to explode
they say i'm more moody now
i can't help it
so i resort to slitting
seems to help alot though its short term
i know i used to say smoking is bad
but at certain time in life,
you can't help but say that smoking really does help
the taste of the cigarette feels bad
but not as bad as the hurt and fears i feel now
i know people will hate me for doing this
but i won't blame them for it
at the very least i'm trying to stop ____
catherine i think you know what that is
i'm praying that tomorrow will be a better day
so i could at least smile once
P.S. James i hope this answer your question on whats wrong
i learnt something that i won't learn else where.
i'm such a coward.
always trying to run away from my problems
i'm scared to face it.
i feel i'm becoming more and more depressed.
so easily affected by stuff around me
and i feel im such a trouble to others.
in this world i'm in,
i feel so scared and lost.
not sure which direction and who to turn to
i depend too much on others.
i ask alot from them
always wanting them to be there for me
but they are only human
and they can never always be there for me.
so i decided not to tell them my problems.
scared that they find me a nuisance
and that they might despise me for it
God feels very far right now
it feels like his is 1 minute here and another minute gone
i craving for love that God can give me
but i dont feel it anymore.
my parents don't even feel anything wrong with me
and so do my friend
they can never give me the love i want
mum and dad fight alot nowadays
and i'm scared.
scared that i would lose 1 of them
i'm scared that if i tell them my problems,
it would cause them to fight more.
i feel like im losing my bestie
we seem that we are going separate ways
and i don't blame her
she might hate me because i was not talking to her clique
i guess its time to let go
i know that my church mates care
i can tell they want to know whats wrong
but i don't know how to explain this feeling
this feeling is indescribable
i cry alot nowadays
actually almost everyday
i can't smile anymore
i trying to bottle all of my fears and hurts up
but soon i'm going to explode
they say i'm more moody now
i can't help it
so i resort to slitting
seems to help alot though its short term
i know i used to say smoking is bad
but at certain time in life,
you can't help but say that smoking really does help
the taste of the cigarette feels bad
but not as bad as the hurt and fears i feel now
i know people will hate me for doing this
but i won't blame them for it
at the very least i'm trying to stop ____
catherine i think you know what that is
i'm praying that tomorrow will be a better day
so i could at least smile once
P.S. James i hope this answer your question on whats wrong
Sunday 8 June 2008
my promise to GOD
Jesus really is marvelous! he planned the path for me that i was uncertain where it will lead. I'm sorry God for being like Jonah. but your patience for me never run dry. your holy spirit gave me calling by calling to go. right now i know the path you brought me through was the right path for me. i saw something that i would never see in my comfort zone.
God i will change! i will change into a better person! please God give me more chance to do your work again, I'm sorry for rejecting so many of the chances you gave me because i was afraid. but i know that fear those not come from God. i want to Dance for you God. In the name of Jesus my injuries will heal and will never come again!
God please cleanse my mind my heart my body. i did things i should not have done or seen in the first place. i know it's morally wrong yet i still did those things. but God you knew i would do those things a long time ago yet you never forsake me for those thing i did. your love for me never change. please give me the strength to change the courage to admit and be a testimonial to others God.
God i will change! i will change into a better person! please God give me more chance to do your work again, I'm sorry for rejecting so many of the chances you gave me because i was afraid. but i know that fear those not come from God. i want to Dance for you God. In the name of Jesus my injuries will heal and will never come again!
God please cleanse my mind my heart my body. i did things i should not have done or seen in the first place. i know it's morally wrong yet i still did those things. but God you knew i would do those things a long time ago yet you never forsake me for those thing i did. your love for me never change. please give me the strength to change the courage to admit and be a testimonial to others God.
mission trip!
yoo............. ppl! so I'm back from Thailand. was superduber fun!!! i don't really think it is a real mission trip because i only spent 4 days in the AHKA centre and 3of the days were travelling out of AHKA centre to visit villages and all. the next days we were in Bangkok....shopping!
1 June:
right after church we left to go to the airport. our destination was chiang rai. took the airplane with minmin is killer! she so scared because the plane was about to take off. tsk tsk... oh well minmin you still got 3 more flight to take so you can take your time to overcome your fear. okay? :] the flight was 3 hours so kexin, minmin and I played games the whole trip. made so much noise! ha ha! oh and guess what? our seats didn't have the button to allow you to lie back. so sad. reach chiang rai was about 9+ at night so the pastor drove his "truck" or "van" to sent us to AHKA centre. when we reach there Ah San Mei jiejie was there and we were also greeted by 4 huge dogs...how "lucky" we are. we went to our rooms wash up so slept. but minmin scared of the dark so she climb onto kexin bed but it was so squeezely so they spent on the floor. minmin whacks people in her sleep! BEWARE! Danger zone!
2 June:
we woke up at 6+ reaching 7 but do you know that the children there wakes up at 5 to read the BIBLE together and if any of them were caught by the pastor yawning they had to do press up(push up). so 40 students walk about 1km to school and those in secondary were driven to school in the pastor van. for us we were eating our breakfast. i still can't get use to eating rice for breakfast. then after that we set off to the different village. Pa Chi and Hua An village I think. we must go up the mountain to visit the village. the travelling was terrible. i can't imagine how the students always go up and down the mountain every week to attend church. tutored the children there. tough part, the homework was in Thai, fun part, i made new friends! yay for me!
3 June:
went to Big C shopping centre not sure whether it was today to shop. bought 1 shorts and 2 shirt. P.S. the stuff there is super cheap and nice. came back and had to prepare for tomorrow stuff. nothing much to talk about today.
4 June:
went to the school there. the children there are very polite. i love the children! they made me see how fortunate I am. some of those children don't have home to go back to during the holidays. anyway, kexin, minmin, and I taught the primary 1 and 2 colours. i really love to see the smiles on the children face. just a sticker would please them like every single problem was gone because of the sticker. they really very appreciate stuff that they have unlike us. so class the student had 1 hour of free time so "bu kun" asked me to play zero point with them. the girls are like superwoman! they could jump over the rope without touching it at the shoulder level. after that we walked home with them. we will be leaving today. so sad. i really wish to spent more time there, like 1 whole week serving God.
so this are the memorable days i spent in thailand with the children.
God please use me. i want to do more for you God!
1 June:
right after church we left to go to the airport. our destination was chiang rai. took the airplane with minmin is killer! she so scared because the plane was about to take off. tsk tsk... oh well minmin you still got 3 more flight to take so you can take your time to overcome your fear. okay? :] the flight was 3 hours so kexin, minmin and I played games the whole trip. made so much noise! ha ha! oh and guess what? our seats didn't have the button to allow you to lie back. so sad. reach chiang rai was about 9+ at night so the pastor drove his "truck" or "van" to sent us to AHKA centre. when we reach there Ah San Mei jiejie was there and we were also greeted by 4 huge dogs...how "lucky" we are. we went to our rooms wash up so slept. but minmin scared of the dark so she climb onto kexin bed but it was so squeezely so they spent on the floor. minmin whacks people in her sleep! BEWARE! Danger zone!
2 June:
we woke up at 6+ reaching 7 but do you know that the children there wakes up at 5 to read the BIBLE together and if any of them were caught by the pastor yawning they had to do press up(push up). so 40 students walk about 1km to school and those in secondary were driven to school in the pastor van. for us we were eating our breakfast. i still can't get use to eating rice for breakfast. then after that we set off to the different village. Pa Chi and Hua An village I think. we must go up the mountain to visit the village. the travelling was terrible. i can't imagine how the students always go up and down the mountain every week to attend church. tutored the children there. tough part, the homework was in Thai, fun part, i made new friends! yay for me!
3 June:
went to Big C shopping centre not sure whether it was today to shop. bought 1 shorts and 2 shirt. P.S. the stuff there is super cheap and nice. came back and had to prepare for tomorrow stuff. nothing much to talk about today.
4 June:
went to the school there. the children there are very polite. i love the children! they made me see how fortunate I am. some of those children don't have home to go back to during the holidays. anyway, kexin, minmin, and I taught the primary 1 and 2 colours. i really love to see the smiles on the children face. just a sticker would please them like every single problem was gone because of the sticker. they really very appreciate stuff that they have unlike us. so class the student had 1 hour of free time so "bu kun" asked me to play zero point with them. the girls are like superwoman! they could jump over the rope without touching it at the shoulder level. after that we walked home with them. we will be leaving today. so sad. i really wish to spent more time there, like 1 whole week serving God.
so this are the memorable days i spent in thailand with the children.
God please use me. i want to do more for you God!
Sunday 1 June 2008
well now I'm the airport using the free Internet for a few minutes. going to Thailand for a week from 1 to 7 June. please pray for the whole group safety.
just now i tripped over my mum bag and fell flat on the floor. so embarrasing. yes yes i know what you are thinking. if it's embarrasing then why and i still blogging it. well actually i don't even know why. just thought it is fun. so yar got to go soon. byebye...
just now i tripped over my mum bag and fell flat on the floor. so embarrasing. yes yes i know what you are thinking. if it's embarrasing then why and i still blogging it. well actually i don't even know why. just thought it is fun. so yar got to go soon. byebye...
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