must be happy!

okay, i shall write something positive since my post are getting really really negative.
firstly, i passed my piano exam with a merit. yeah, that was super good news cause i thought i was going to fail, made lots of mistakes. but thank God for it.
secondly, i flunk english test. yeah well thats not good news but i don't know why i still feel so happy after receiving my results. i was laughing like a hyena in class. thats bad...
thirdly, i just realised exams are starting this friday, so yeah, good luck to me. "but i have faith everything will work out in the end..." sounds familar grace?

1 more month to holiday, ewww, i can't wait!

oh, 1 more thing. mdm Teo found out something that is happening to me. thats bad. later tell mdm ang and mdm ang tell my parents. ewww, this spells D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R.!.

argh!!!!!!!!!!!! super stress by test and exams. i scared i would fail again.

help! im drowning in self-despair!

Only you Lord, that i can draw strength from to overcome my enemies.

im wondering... can i commit again? i broke my first commitment to God when i started hating myself by doing things i shouldn't do even though i know its wrong. will i break this one too. i really think i would. i guess i can't commit. but i have to try.

hi all! I'm back from the wake. so exhausting...
anyway, i will be going back to school tomorrow, no choice, but I'm kind of missing school so going back to school won't be so bad. 3 days of self-declared holiday sia!
i didn't sleep well for the past few nights because of the wake so i have panda eyes... argh!
Dear Lord, during the past few nights at the playground alone, i felt a sense of emptiness, guilt, and sadness. i can't help but bottle up these feelings. Lord, please reveal to me whats making me feel this way?

sooo let's see. i woke up at 1+ today, i know there was school but i self-declared holiday. have to go back school tmr because the school called my mum ask her why i never go to school. damn the school! need to finish my stupid english comprehension today. wonder if i can don't go school on wed, so tue i bunk in someone house.

term 4 is my last leg of the race, so i have to fight on be it life or school.

i want to say sorry to all those who i vented my anger on, though i won't say it is the last but thanks for just bearing with it even though you know it hurts you.

enough said, i shall end my post here...

bye grandpa...i will miss you. we are all happy for you. you're safe in God's hands.

blame myself for all the pathetic problems. can't believe but it's true... everything is happening because of my desire to have more and more. whether is it greed for acceptance, love, friendship, attention, all these desire just comes from wanting more and not cherishing on what i already have. thanks van. you are a really good listener and adviser too!
"most people give and get but never really put it to good use. they are called advises" i really got to think of what all of your said to me and put it to use.

Freedom is given to those who believe in you. Freedom from the burden of our sins. Sins that are much too heavy for us to carry on our own. Take it God, take my sins away, take it all...

2 songs that speak to me: Here in my life, Take it all
Here in my life


Take it all

mighty to save

went to macs to study and do homework. grace, limxi, benedict were there. i manage to finish 2 maths papes. WOAH OH! still left a lot more but at least i did some...

sorry grace, i was being self-centred. i really didn't know. though you don't hold against me and your not angry with me but i just feel guilty. you cared sooo much about your parents which really touched me. really...

somehow the world is passing so quickly that i feel im left behind... went to visit my Ahgong and he look so sickly. there was nothing much i could do and even if i could do something for him, im not sure if i would do it for him. holiday for one week doesn't seem like a holiday to me. it's just a week for mer to recharge before term 4 starts. sometimes i really just want to disappear and go for some retreat away from everything and just come before God. tmr got to go sch, thurs going out with van to orchard which i have no idea where is it and im not joking, seriously. hope to meet shu, cat, limxi, grace during the holidays but it doesn't seem like there is enough time for anything especially when you are pilled up with homework that is waiting for you to be done.

somehow i seem to be becoming more emo again... haix