LAST POST OF 2009!!!


I GOT OVER YOU...

Christmas eve, i decided to move on and also taking actions.
i deleted ur msgs.
and not gonna care about how ur life is anymore.
almost cry during caroling cos of it but james was encouraging me to let go.
and i did!!!
yay!
God must be proud:)

2009 wasnt the best year i could have.
faced probs like:
almost retaining in sec3
BGR
breaking up
unwantedness and loneliness
friendship problems
mood swings( hell alot of them hahah)
jealousy over position
hateful teachers
failing practically all subs
self cutting
bad habits that wont go away.
well the list goes on and on.
alot of this situations that made me cry.
but more importantly, it made me stronger.
and made me depend on God more.
so thank God for that.:)

Thank you God for carrying me through each and every situation i faced.
you let me cry on ur shoulders when i needed one
you gave me hugs to make me feel better.
you gave me hope when all hope to me was fading away.

"i can do all things in you who gives me strength"
"for i have plans for you, plans to prosper to not to harm you,plans for a brighter future"
these 2 verse have helped me through 2009

of course, there are also many ppl who helped me. so many ppl that i cant count. blessed to have you guys. you know who u are. ha. and also, i have forged a much stronger bond with the church guys. they are awesome!!! heh

many ppl walk in and out of our lives, but friends leave footprints behind!

i will post the photos of london and musical soon...
probably in 2010.LOL

2010 resolution:
1) 1 year plan, to be completely satisfied with God and not date. (given by joanne. she gave me 6months but i decided 1 year would be better:P accept this challenge.God, joanne, you readers are my witness ar. ha)

2) use computer only 3times a week and not more than 5hours per time. (probably one of the hardest resolution to keep to for me cos im a computer addict. but since 2010 is my O level year. so gotta cut down com use)

3) focusing on my Olevel goal of 9points. yes yes some of you may think 9 points easy or 9 points for me is a target too high for me. but hey, dont forget. i have a
mighty God supporting me. and every paper is done with a prayer.

4) DSA. gotta prepare my dance audition and interview. i feel damn scared. but if i dont try, my life will be filled with WHAT IF...

5) praying that 2010 will be a revival year for our church. may all of us walk closer and grow stronger in God. pray for healing and forgiveness in each and everyone of our hearts.

6) im gonna fast again. haha. dont be surprise if i am not eating food during recess. most probably gonna read the bible at a corner of the school.

7) kicking that bad habit that have stayed with me since sec 1 end of year. that habit destroyed 2 of my friendships with my friends. its no longer gonna control my life anymore. Jesus take the wheel!

8) be a good welfare IC. and also serve in church and cell group. 30may youth serivce, OMG in chinese and leading congregation with yonghui. waa, i damn scared. but God shows his strength through our weakness. so God make full use of me to touch others:)

for now thats about it...

2010 is gonna be a very Godly year for me, i wanna grow stronger in him. be more wiser and mature. to be submissive and God fearing. yea sounds like a difficult task for me. LOL. nevertheless, im gonna try.:)

k, ending here. gotta pack luggage.(why am i saying all this) LOL
tata

Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize
Don't patronize me.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holdin me
Mornin will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight.
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.

did u actually love me?
guess the answer doesnt matter anymore

your the reason that i live, the reason that i sing...

i am pleasantly reminded that life is just not about love or relationships.
it is too shallow of a life to just live for your partner.
when your in a relationship, every single thing seem to surround the person you love.
from what i had learnt, every time i cry is always cos of you, and im always on a roller coaster ride with you and your emotions.
i do not live for you, i do not sing for you, and i do not cry for you.
no one else is allowed to break my heart except for God.
and thats a fact.
truely, all of us deserve more than what our partner can give us now.
now meaning teenagers la! hah

from this day onwards,
i commit my life again back to God.
im so thankful, this wonderful Father never ever forget to forgive me.
and you know what, he is my lover!
and my boyfriend, my father, my listening ear, my comforter, my advicer, and everything else...
i dont need anything else other than God's love to surround me.
so i make this really clear to everyone else now,
I KISS DATING GOODBYE!muax away:)
learnt that when ur not in good terms with God, your never in good terms with anyone else.
and everything you do, most probably screw up.
so im gonna fast again.
til i make right with God and gain internal strength to clear my temptations 'that blocks me from getting closer to God.

oh, to the special someone, i hope you are doing fine without me. you find someone else, i pretty sure about that. its best this way for both of us. you need ur old life back and i need mine too. thank you for all the bittersweet memories, experience and feelings i never thought i had. i hope we will still remain friends though its ur choice and i wont force you. wish u all the best in O's, NCC, and finding someone better:) til you find the right person, may God's love fill your heart. honestly God is the only one who can fill up the loniness feeling in our heart.i shall end here, gonna miss you.:(

to a girl a kiss speak a thousand words, it tells of the guys character. but to a guy, its just a kiss...

perhaps im not being fair to you by clinging on to you,
still thinking that ur mine.
gotta let go for ur sake and mine.
this time, i hope it truely means goodbye...

i fell so hard i thought i couldn't stand no more
always thinking this time round things would be difference.
i convinced myself to believe in that.
yet i got played another time.
guess i never learnt the lesson.
i deserve far more than the way u treat me.
since u didn't fulfil ur promise to me, i wont fulfil ur promise either.
u never respected me.
just because u know my secrets and know my weakness,
doesn't give you the right to use it against me.
i dont know whether to give u another chance.
i dont know whether i should give up.
i dont know whether i should move on.
:(
no one made me cry so hard except u...

entertaining!!!:)

so stupid of me,
to think that u actually love me.
giving u so many chances,
yet each and everytime u hurt me more and more.
i cant ignore your cold treatment.
its so hard.
i told things would work out better as time passes.
im so wrong.
all the msg u sent,
i dont know which to believe.
sometimes u say u love me, sometimes u want me out of ur life.
tell me straight in my face which is the truth.
i dont want to be toyed by u again.
and each and everytime, im the one who always apologise for even things i didnt do.
come to think if it, u were playing with my feelings all along.
how very stupid of me to not notice it.
but things are diff when i see u.
u are like a whole new person.
u cared alot for me.
im utterly confuse.
i wanna hold u close, i wanna hear u say those words again.
did u actually mean it when u gave me that gift???
sigh...

hey you!!! gahh, im missing Ms F.
off to china ar...
tsktsk, never packed me in luggage.
:(
hope u r enjoying urself there.
come back in 1 piece yo=D
til then, have fun.


:):):)
with miss S bestie!!!
sun, went out to study with u at esplanade library.
hahah
ran homw with u cos of curfewXD
and hang around in ur house until 9.30pm!!!
woohoo.
we sang mad woman and dance like there is no tmr.
aww miss parry!!!:(
class tee must have parry logo ok!!!!:)


AARON!!!
thanks a plenty.
ur really nice brother-in-christ.:)
change alot yea, for the better la!:)
haha,
thanks for the deserts yo...


i jus realised my hand is really small from the pic...
anyway,
MAGELLAN'S!!!
I MISS OBS, I MISS UBIN, I MISS KAYAKING, I MISS LAND EX, I MISS MORNING PT, I MISS SINGING TGT, I MISS HOGGING THE TOILET COS WE REACHED WAY BEFORE EXPECTED TIME, I MISS COMFORT FOOD, I MISS PEEING IN THE SEA(opps), I MISS PITCHING TENTS, BUT MOST OF ALL I MISS U GUYS!!!
hope we will see each other soon kays!


HAHAHA!
i think i seen u and Caroline the most this holiday among all the 3e3 ppl:)
ahh, this photo reminds me of the exam panic stress mode...
good old times. k la, not very good since stress but pulling through those times were awesome.
and we are like the class welfare commitee!
writing to ppl who need encouragement.:)
wat i wanna say is thanks for really being there for me through ups and downs.
really nice of u!!!
muaxXXXXX!
my kisses are really BOOMZZZ ok!:P
i shall see ur name on Valedictorian board!
9A1sssssss...
do MDM ANG AND MAMA FOONG proud!!
get out of special club.
then MAMA FOONG very happy,heh.
and i also got extra person to eat recess with ler!AWESOME!!!


PSerrr!!!
hahah k lah, not always.
u look stress yo, especially during exams...
super moody.
but nvm, for now exams are over.:)
next year O's... DO WELL FOR HISTORY!!! COS HISTORY ROXXXX!
and plspls dont go for Chinese studies la.
next thing i know, u speak to me in chinese.
then my brain break down.:P
cya

LOOK,
I'm not a mind reader nor a psychic and definitely not God.
BUT, i totally understand or at least know how u feel.
and like an open book, i know u are 100% not okay.
only problem is, i don't know what to do?
or what to say to help u feel better and maybe ease ur pain.
if i could, i would.
cos that's what friends are for.
even better, that's what good/close/best friends are for.
here i am, giving u my listening ear and a shoulder to cry on if need be.
though i doubt u need the shoulder, ur too strong(not a good thing) and have too much pride to let yourself cry.
honestly, crying is definitely OKAY!!!
so let it out yea?
but if u think about it, u didn't even want to open urself to others.
i mean come on, if u just talk about what is bothering u.
i would give my best shot to help u, even if its hurts me.
cos i really love u.(as a friend of course)
but u dint want to open yourself, or maybe u didn't know how to open urself anymore...
after that big scar.
can understand.
all i ask for is that u give me instruction whether u want me be there for u or u want me leave u alone.
that's all, simple as that.
i will take approach from there.
and also, do u know how i feel?
i feel like a total letdown as ur friend.
i cant do a simple thing like comforting u cos I'm not given the chance.
and when u ask, u push me aside.
i tried, but u said i didn't try.
u did the exact same thing _ _ _ _ _ did.
and that frustrates me.
keep asking myself, am i really that useless?
i cant even tell that my friend wants my help anot?
maybe i am useless...
but i think for sure, I TRIED TO HELP.
u just didn't want my help at all..:(

Trials are medicines which our gracious and wise Physician prescribes because we need them; and he proportions the frequency and weight of them to what the case requires. Let us trust his skill and thank him for his prescription.

~Isaac Newton~